Forgiving Yourself

***I apologize for the absence. My brother got married on Saturday, it has been a bit chaotic***

While this journey to becoming a better me has mostly been about weight loss and getting healthier there have been other improvements along the way. Areas of myself that maybe I didn't even know I was lacking in or never even thought of improving.

One of those areas that never crossed my mind, learning to forgive myself

When I would eat foods I shouldn't (like a whole thing of Oreo's), go overboard at a buffet to the point of being uncomfortable, or simply not eat I would get mad at myself. I would criticize myself for eating foods I knew weren't healthy, for over eating on those unhealthy foods. I became mad at myself which would lead to more binge eating of crap food. It was a vicious cycle.

My unforgiving ways would also go to my workouts. If I overslept I would beat myself up all day. Like seriously, how could you not get out of bed, laziness, pure laziness. Then as I would be relaxing on the couch at night I would have this nagging voice that I needed to go do something. I needed to stop being a bum on the couch.

Yea, I was mean to myself. I was very unforgiving when I would slip-up.

I'm not sure why I beat myself up.

I obviously wasn't perfect before I started this journey.

Not sure why I thought that starting this journey I would never miss a workout or eat crap foods.

I knew I would, because I'm not perfect. If I was perfect I wouldn't be trying to lose the weight in the first place!

Source- pin.terest

Here lately though I've been forgiving myself.

Now this is not to be confused with making excuses. There is a HUGE difference!

For example, this wedding and helping my mom get everything around has made for some long nights and restless sleep.  There were times that I chose to sleep instead of doing my 5am workouts.

Old Megan would have beat myself up about it but not done anything on my own.

Improved Megan acknowledged that my body needed the sleep and then since I also knew that I needed to workout I pushed myself to do it. Alone. No gym. No coach. Just me and Reagan (usually). I didn't use the excuse I was tired to sit my butt on the couch at night. I used that as motivation, like hey I didn't work out this morning so now I have to use my evening to do it!

source- pint.terest

The same goes for eating.

I don't eat perfect. I try my hardest to be healthy 80-90% of the time. There's times I don't. Not beating myself up as I continue to lick the brownie batter but instead, stop eating the crap, acknowledge that I did and do some burpees to feel better!

It is just amazing to me how this journey is shaping me into the woman I always knew I was but had forgotten I could be.

24 Day Challenge- Day 1

I'm backkkkkkk

Whew, the holidays then Reagan's birthday party, crazy weather and being gone for a conference for a week has thrown me off this blogging schedule I had set for myself. Excuses I know but sometimes life happens and it is okay but I'm back and ready to get back to normal.

I started my 24 day challenge today. I was going to start when everyone else did at the beginning of the new year but I knew I would be away for that conference and it would be hard to plan my meals and get my workouts in. Plus, I also got my mom to do the challenge with me and I wanted to wait for her to get her goodies. I am planning on chronicling the entire 24 days here.That will keep me focused as well as accountable. If I want this to work and I want to continue to succeed I need to be honest and I feel that this is the best place for it!

Food choices-

Breakfast was a no brainer, I didn't have a lot of time so the advocare berry shake was simple, quick and yummy.

Snacks- I know this will make me sound lazy but I LOVE the pre-sliced apples. I mean seriously, just open the bag and eat. No getting out a knife or a plate just yummyness right away. I also dug out my frozen grapes and OMG I don't think I will ever be able to ear regular grapes again.

Lunch- Last night I put half of one our farm raised chickens into the crock pot with seasonings and a jar of pasta sauce. I let it cook on low all night and when I woke up to work out this morning, the house smelled AMAZING! To put with that I took a bag of frozen green beans and let them thaw overnight. This morning I dumped them in a ziplock bag, drizzled with olive oil and Mrs. Dash seasoning and baked them for about 25-30 minutes. Those were so good. I could have ate the entire bag but left half of them for tonight's supper.
 

Supper- I'm thinking it will be the rest of the chicken and green beans just for simplicity sakes since I won't get home till after 6. I also will treat myself with an advocare shake made into a muffin with some peanut butter. Helps satisfy that craving.

Water- So far today I am up to 48oz that I have actually kept track of. I don't count the water that I drink with my fiber drink. Usually I am drinking so much so fast to try and get the nastiness out of my mouth I lose track.

Exercise- I went to the total body class this morning. I can only stay about 45 minutes but I still got a good sweat in! I am going back tonight for another hour and I know I will be sore but it will be worth it. I just love how exercising has made me feel lately.

At the end of every week I am going to figure out how to post my log from myfitnesspal on here. Just another form of accountability.

Here is to making this my most successful 24 day challenge yet!