On my way home then I thought more about it.
I thought about how I felt as a kid growing up.
My relationships with food.
My relationship with my body.
They all stunk.
Sometimes they still stink.
I was overweight growing up. And it wasn't as common then to see an overweight kid (especially in my small town) as it is now (sad fact but true). I was always in sports but was still the big girl. I actually remember other coaches referring to me as "the big girl." Grown men calling me that. This is also where I learned to smile even though I knew it was true. I would be the typical girl who would be smiling on the outside while on the inside I was cursing myself for eating that extra cookie or drinking that can of pop. Talk about an unhealthy relationship.
Now though, I "try" not to beat myself up if I slip. Most days I can brush it off. Own up to it, and move on. As long as I acknowledge my slip up and don't allow myself to start down that slipper slope again I'm better than I used to be.
Do I beat myself up at times, absolutely.
Does it undo the bad choices, nope.
So does it pay to beat myself up, nope.
Baby steps people baby steps. I celebrate the good choices, acknowledge the bad and continue to put one foot in front of the other. Because at the end of the day, sometimes that is an accomplishment all on its own.